Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Confessions of a non-shopaholic (or whatever the opposite of a shopaholic is).

They say the first step is to recognize there is a problem. Well, I have a problem: I am terrible at shopping for myself. All types of shopping, clothes, shoes, groceries, etc. etc. and such.

It isn’t the shopaholic problem. I don’t overspend or shop excessively. If there is some extra cash maybe I will indulge myself with something I may want at the time…or would like to anyway. I usually end up talking myself out of buying anything. “Will I really use it? How is it going to make my life better? Why did I skip breakfast this morning? Why wasn’t I born a rich bitch? Why wasn’t I born Rick James, bitch?” These and more are all questions I ask myself when “shopping”. However, when I do have the need to buy things for myself, I am awful at it. Mind you, I wasn’t really aware of the problem, because sadly the shopping does not happen often enough for me to have recognized it sooner. And when an occasion of a holiday or birthday of someone I care for arises, I have been known to kick ass when it comes to shopping for someone else. But when it comes to me, here are some of the mistakes I’ve made: Try on several sizes of shoes and end up buying the one I didn’t try, because by process of (stupid) elimination, it must be the one that fits. Then I end up with a pair of shoes a size too small or too big. I’m a 7.5 goddamn it! Remember that, self! Clothes? Man I am so terrible at that. Usually go for comfort but I am terrible with trying out things at the store. I fail to remember that size M is not the same for different items of clothing and/or brands. Again, the shoe thing happens where I end up with clothes I’ll never wear, or wear only when I’m painting. Food is by far the worst, however. I cannot grocery shop. I am incapable of doing it. I never know what to eat or how much/many things of items to buy. I have a terrible diet. (I have, however, learned never to grocery shop when starving.)

This has only come to my attention as of 30 minutes ago, as I tried to write down a grocery list and ended up doodling on the paper.
I have come to the conclusion that I need a shopping buddy and/or teacher. Someone who will tell me to try out all clothes I’m buying and honestly tell me if it looks good on me. Someone who will remind me to wear the shoes, and try Cript-walking with them on to accomplish the comfort test and looking silly at the shoe store in the mall (trying to cross off more items in the bucket list). Someone who will tell me what food to buy so I can eat the way God intended…so that means no apples and lots of fish, bread and red wine. Oh hey, I might already have the answer to the shopping for food problem.

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