Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Teddy Bear for Adults

I had this idea a little while ago during a conversation with a friend. Now, with the holiday season upon us, I feel it is the perfect time to share my idea in hopes of it becoming a reality. I don’t even care that I don’t get the credit for it. If someone else takes it and runs with it and makes it happen then that is alright by me. I just want it to be available for me to have. I want one. We can all agree that the crappiest part about becoming an adult was giving up the teddy bears. I mean, not everyone is lucky enough to have a cuddle buddy whenever one needs it the most…(whilst watching Law and Order SVU, obviously). This is why I had an idea of creating a Teddy Bear that would be okay for adults to have.

Let me explain what this Teddy Bear for adults consists of…(needs a name btw, because right now it sounds like a sex toy, and these Teddies will not be performing any sexual acts…unless you and your Teddy develop that type of relationship over time. I will not judge…even if it happens soon after meeting. What you and your Teddy do behind closed doors is your prerogative. But I digress). The TB4A (that sounds like a robot name), will actually be, in fact, like a robot…well a machine. It will come in your favorite color, and do the following:

- Give you hugs. The most important feature of this Teddy, as for all Teddies, would be to give you big warm hugs to make it all better. (p.s. again, TB4A is not a sex toy. “Hugs” is not a euphemism).

- Poo cookies, pee booze. I know what you are thinking, “Gross!”, but hey, how else do you suppose we get the cookies and booze out of this Teddy Bear machine? By cutting an opening through its stomach? I’m not a monster, and maybe you are a sick and psycho-y person.

- Ninja protection. Well, the Teddy would be too small to protect you from burglars, rapists, and murderers who’d break into your house, buuuuut there won’t be any of that since everyone will have their own Teddy to fulfill their human needs (that sounds dirty) diminishing the need to be a criminal asshole. But the ninja protection will come in handy for when your neighbor’s cat/dog is being a loud asshole.

- Drive. Yes, he will drive your car so you can text, facebook, kik, tweet, etc. etc. and such.

- Be your wing man. Guys, chicks love the Teddies, because they are cute as buttons (was that expression created because buttons don’t hurt people like zippers do? Hmmm) Girls, guys love them because….did I mention they pee booze?

- Give you more hugs. Yes. Lots more hugs, because you can never have enough, and if you play your cards right, he will high five you too.

So that is all this Teddy machine of awesomeness can do. That is my idea. I think it is a great idea and it can sell very well. Better than the iPad and the iPhone put together. I mean, I’d buy myself like 4. I think it is a very good idea, and someone with lots of money and that brain power to make things work should do it. Hmm maybe I should talk to the Japanese. They might already have this out on their market. We are always so behind.

The End.

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